This is a blog site dedicated to issues concerning LGBTQ parents and our children, and LGBTQ children in our families, touching on issues of family, faith, and the culture in which we live.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
On being a grandfather, and on being a gay grandfather!
I recently met a grandfather whose grown daughter "came out" of the closet at an older age. The daughter was married to a man for several years, is a mom of three children, and is living with her partner of three or four years, who also has children from a previous lesbian relationship. The two met over their respective children's athletic events. The grown daughter who was married is also living in the after effect of her former husband's suicide, which he committed right before the divorce was final. The grown daughter's former in-laws, along with her former husband's entire family, have been alienated by the former husband's brother, who made sure that the grown daughter would be cast as an outsider.
Meanwhile, in Tacoma I met a man who is a grandfather with a grown son and grandchildren, in which the grown son will have to explain to his children that "Grandpa is gay!" The grandfather asked and kidded me about the next volume in the series of books that could come out of this book, "You know, that's the next book: On Being a Gay Grandparent."
As we "come out" and live in the light of day, it is important for us to remember that our living truthfully is, first, going to cause a ripple effect as the news (shall I say gossip in the good understanding of the word), trips upon the tongues of others. Second, not everyone is going to be excited for living truthfully. In a culture that lives "don't ask, don't tell" in more than the military service, our being out and gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered people, is a threat unto many who live in the closets of their--and society's--construction.
Chapel Hill and Carrboro, North Carolina, United States
I am a dad, who happens to be gay, with two amazing young adult children who have taught me, my partner, and their mom what grace, faith, hope, and love are all about. I am also an ordained clergyperson in the Presbyterian Church (USA), involved in congregational life, sometimes preaching here and there, and an oblate of St. Benedict's Monastery in St. Joseph, MN. I taught at Duke Divinity School at Duke University for over a decade, and I currently teach at North Carolina Central University in Durham, NC. I teach Ethics, World Religions, and English. And I am the Director of a religious non-profit, "School of the Pilgrim" (www.schoolofthepilgrim.com), in which I take people on actual pilgrimages to break out of the religion of rush hour in order to find their inner spiritual path. I am also glad to work with and be an advocate with people living with disabilities in faith communities, who teach me more about life in all its wonders and quirks. Enjoy the blog! And for more information about the book ON BEING A GAY PARENT, go to www.onbeingagayparent.com. Email contact: firstname.lastname@example.org, and phone is 919-444-9111