Saturday, April 5, 2008

On being a grandfather, and on being a gay grandfather!

I recently met a grandfather whose grown daughter "came out" of the closet at an older age. The daughter was married to a man for several years, is a mom of three children, and is living with her partner of three or four years, who also has children from a previous lesbian relationship. The two met over their respective children's athletic events. The grown daughter who was married is also living in the after effect of her former husband's suicide, which he committed right before the divorce was final. The grown daughter's former in-laws, along with her former husband's entire family, have been alienated by the former husband's brother, who made sure that the grown daughter would be cast as an outsider.

Meanwhile, in Tacoma I met a man who is a grandfather with a grown son and grandchildren, in which the grown son will have to explain to his children that "Grandpa is gay!" The grandfather asked and kidded me about the next volume in the series of books that could come out of this book, "You know, that's the next book: On Being a Gay Grandparent."

As we "come out" and live in the light of day, it is important for us to remember that our living truthfully is, first, going to cause a ripple effect as the news (shall I say gossip in the good understanding of the word), trips upon the tongues of others. Second, not everyone is going to be excited for living truthfully. In a culture that lives "don't ask, don't tell" in more than the military service, our being out and gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered people, is a threat unto many who live in the closets of their--and society's--construction.

Live well, grandpas and grandmas!

Pilgrim peace,


1 comment:

Bear Me Out said...

"Don't ask, don't tell" may have been invented in church! We can be the worst.