Friday, May 30, 2014

Slow but steady wins the race at Chapel Hill Carrboro YMCA and YMCA of the Triangle

With Molly, Allison, Cathy, Lydia, and Mia, we are changing the HR practices of the YMCA of the Triangle, YOTA for short. YOTA wants to merge with Chapel Hill/Carrboro YMCA. This idea was brought forth five years when I was on the Board of CHCYMCA, and some people wanted to merge with YOTA.  The problem? CHCYMCA didn't give same sex employees the same benefits to same sex couples as they did non same sex couples because of the 50 + 1 rule of NC: you needed 50 full time employees to participate in benefits to let 1 same sex couple receive the same benefits (sigh). But YOTA has more than 50 but they didn't give the employees the same benefits. So we (the group mentioned above) publicized the discrepancy between the YMCAs. The reason YOTA didn't? Because of the evangelical Christians on their Board. But CH and Carrboro are more progressive.

Now that we are on the cusp of a deal, they YOTA are changing. Finally.  It took five years.

Progress was made by the voices of those who objected.

Inch by inch, row by row, growth.


Friday, May 23, 2014

Celebration of Dean

Dean--the partner, the better half, the cuter half, the ones the kids like better than their old man--is celebrating his 20th anniversary of his 29th birthday.

Figure it out, friends!

Happy Birthday, Dean!

Love, B

Pax, B

Thursday, May 22, 2014

And PA makes 19

Well done, PA!

You pulled the nation to number 19 of states approving of marriage equality.  Are we not at a tipping point?  After all, the entire West Coast is now a marriage equality zone, as is the entire northeast. Watch out, NC: It's creeping up on us quickly.


A Kilt at a Wedding

I'm going to get a kilt.

The Mitchell part of my heritage doesn't have a decent tartan that is, well, authentic, given that it is an English name.  My mom's side of the family is Ferguson, so there's hope.

I've thought that when I marry or wed, one of us should have a kilt.  But those wedding plans are not in the work, given the sad state of affairs in NC.  However, my daughter is getting married to Scott in the fall, so I can wear a kilt for her wedding.

Men in kilts: its truly not a gay thing.  It is a thing about one's roots in Scotland.



Tuesday, May 20, 2014

OR, and Possibly PA?

I have a pic above of PA State Rep. Brian Sims above (in the handsome beard).  In PA, they might actually be state 20 in moving the country toward marriage equality.  Yesterday, my second home state of OR (NY is the first state) went forward.

People called and wrote to see if we (Dean and I) were going to be married.  The answer is no. Why? Because it means nothing in the state of NC. While it is a wonderful thing to get married (Adrianne and Scott her boyfriend are marrying in October 2014), it costs a) money, and b) involves a community; and c) means nothing for LGBTQ couples in NC.  Nothing. Nothing for taxes. Nothing in terms of contract with the two of us with the state.  Nada.

So we wait.  But I loved listening to the stories from OR yesterday.  It was great.  I was jealous.  Envious.  Depressed.  But happy for those wed.

Not singing Pharell's "Happy" here in NC...yet.


Monday, May 19, 2014


This is wonderful!

My first home state--NY-- and now my second home state--OR--has moved toward being part of civilization.  Equality rights for marriage for all.

Powerful and wonderful.  The west coast is looking locked up for marriage equality: CA, OR, WA, ID, UT...and the dominoes fall.



Thursday, May 15, 2014

Texas next for marriage equality?

Judge Barbara Nellermoe just ruled that the anti-marriage equality law in TX is unconstitutional.  She is the third judge.  Could TX be next, beating out the Tarheel state?  OMG!

More here from



Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Between VA, ID and OR, my head is spinning...

See what Justice Scalia did?  He predicted the future accurately!  With the demise of federal government's section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) by the Supreme Court last year, the dominoes have been falling in terms of state constitutional amendments outlawing marriage equality.  In the last two days, marriage equality is moving forward in VA, ID and OR.  In ID, Judge Wagahoff Dale refused to stay the decision to overturn the ID marriage amendment.  In OR, U.S. District Judge Michael McShane has denied efforts by the National Organization for Marriage to intervene in the federal challenge to Oregon's gay marriage ban. Read more:; and in VA, the Fourth Circuit Court is hearing a case that may move marriage equality forward for all states that are covered by this circuit court, including NC.




Monday, May 12, 2014

Update on the Kids

Parker finished the semester with all As at UNCW...whoop whoop for Parker.  He is also now a member of an honorary business society at UNCW, and is doing an internship in the Wilmington area as he takes a summer class at the University;

Adrianne is almost finished teaching and is headed to Spain to meet her mom for a break.  Then she'll be teaching this summer at Asheville Montessori School. Meanwhile, she and Scott are preparing for their wedding on Oct. 11, 2014.

In other words, the kids are all right.



Catching Up in the Middle of the Motion of the Ocean of Change

So much has gone on since I last blogged:

Michael Sams is now an NFL player, and kissed his boyfriend, Vito, which caused a ruckus;

Jason Collins is playing basketball for the NBA in Brooklyn;

Arkansas now allows for marriage equality;

OH, OR, and even NC may be getting closer to marriage equality;

ENDA doesn't seem to be moving anywhere;

At NCCU where I teach, we had our first inaugural Lavender Graduation, which was also a kind of first for an HBCU, especially in the state of NC.

And finally, my friend Mark Chilton is going to be the Register of Deeds in Orange County, NC.  This means that, as of Jan. 1, 2015, when he is sworn in, he is going to be issuing marriage licenses to ALL who wish to marry/wed. 

More to come, now that another academic year has drawn to a close.