Monday, January 24, 2011

"She'd Kill Me": The Fear of Death Among Gay Dads

Talked to a friend who is a closet gay dad the other day. When I asked what was holding him back from finally coming out as a gay man. He was very clear, and did not miss a beat: referring to his wife, "She'd kill me."

Even though there is a recent poll showing that there a number of LGBTQ parents in this area, I'm aware that these are only those who have allowed themselves to be counted and out. Imagine how many are still in the closet and are hiding?! Thousands of more...literally thousands...

There's got to be another way out of this conundrum.





manxxman said...

I remember how frightened I was being in the closet. It wasn't until my kids had graduated college and were no longer at home that I began to feel the oppressive coldness around my heart. It got to the point where hiding my gayness was no longer an option. Did she want a divorce, not a first. But coming out felt like a warm summer day after a very very long winter.

I hope your friend finds the courage (and it does take courage).

Brett Webb-Mitchell said...

The fear of "violence" in leaving a marriage in order to live honestly is stunning.

I've heard it often, sad to say.