I'm a Teacher...and I'm Gay

From my blog on www.parentsociety.com

I’m a teacher. That is my role and function in life. I have taught young children in music classes; worked as a music therapist with older children who live with emotional, behavioral, and intellectual disabilities. I teach undergraduate college students today, and have taught graduate students in the past at small and large colleges and universities. Today, I teach “Ethics, Religions, and the World” and English composition courses full-time at North Carolina Central University in Durham, NC, a historical black college/university (HBCU).

In total, I’ve taught in higher education for over sixteen years. My reviews from teaching tend to be “high” in terms of overall teaching effectiveness, whether I was teaching young children in music therapy sessions or doctoral students at a major research university. Why the high ratings? Because I use my life story as a resource of how to do things in life — or not do certain things. I use stories of my life-partner, my children, my parents, and other experiences that I’ve garnered over time and place. Like all good educators, I know that teaching works best when we develop a relationship with others, and tell and live our stories.
Recently, one student at the HBCU where I teach asked me what it was like to be a minority, “you know, white, a dad, partnered, gay, and a Presbyterian pastor.” I simply laughed and said that my minority status where I work gave me a slight insight into how my students feel daily in the primarily white world in which we live. I know as a fact that some out and closeted lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning students take my class because I am an out-gay teacher. They’ve said that knowing this makes them feel safe in the classroom to be themselves.

Read more here: http://www.parentsociety.com/todays-family/same-sex-parents/im-a-teacher-and-im-gay/

DOMA Before the Supreme Court of the US

From parentsociety.com:
The Basics
On Wednesday, March 27, 2013, the Supreme Court of the U.S. heard the case against the federal government’s 1996 Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). Besides stating that marriage is between one man and one woman, section 3 of the federal DOMA restricts federal marriage benefits and required interstate marriage recognition to only opposite-sex marriages in the United States.

Section 3 does not recognize same-sex marriage for all federal purposes, like insurance benefits for federal government employees (including military service personnel),  Social Security survivors’ benefits, immigration (including bi-national same-sex couples), and filing joint tax returns. Eight lower district courses, along with the Obama Administration, have found Section 3 unconstitutional based upon the equal protection clause.  In other words, same-sex couples are not considered “equal to” opposite-sex couples.
DOMA vs. Prop 8
It is very rare that the Supreme Court would hold back-to-back hearings on a similar issue regarding marriage equality. However, Prop 8 was more about the rights of voters to take away the rights of a minority group in California, while DOMA hearing was about inequality found within a federal law.
Highlights From the Hearing
Some of the highlights from the hearing exposed how those of us who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer (LGBTQ) were considered in 1996. The highlights also show what was troubling for some justices in terms of equality of same-sex couples with straight couples, and in terms of our families’ overall well-being.
For example:

• Reading from the legislative history of the U.S. House of Representatives, Justice Kagan read the following regarding DOMA: “Congress decided to reflect an honor of collective moral judgment and to express moral disapproval of homosexuality.”

Read more here: http://www.parentsociety.com/todays-family/same-sex-parents/all-you-need-to-know-about-the-defense-of-marriage-act-doma-hearing-before-the-supreme-court/

Prop 8 Hearing Before the Supreme Court of the US

My take on the hearing as posted on parentsociety.com

On March 26, 2013, the Supreme Court of the U.S. considered a case regarding the constitutional legitimacy of California’s Proposition 8. For me, along with many other lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender individuals and couples, and our straight allies, our attention was clearly focused on what was happening in Washington, D.C.
For background, in 2008, Proposition 8 amended the state constitution of California to stop same-sex marriages after the state Supreme Court permitted marriage equality. The Proposition amended the state constitution to say: “only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.”
The problem was this: many same-sex couples had already been wed. It was a right given to same-sex couples. The question became, “Can a right that has already been granted to a group of people be taken away?”
Furthermore, the other question considered had to do with the equal protection law of the U.S. constitution: “no state shall … deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.” United States District Court Judge Vaughn Walker put a halt to Prop 8 based partially on the equal protection law.
In the hearing before the Supreme Court of the U.S., one of the issues the court had to deal with was who was representing the proponents of Prop 8 before the Court. The lawyers speaking in defense of Prop 8 were not representing the state government of California. Indeed, California’s attorney general, along with the Governor, does not support Prop 8. But listening to the justices, we also heard a split court.
For example, while acknowledging gay marriage is a new concept in a tradition that stretches back thousands of years, Justice Kennedy said there is an “immediate legal injury” to same-sex couples in California who are raising children but unable to marry legally. He wondered how the law could affect the roughly 40,000 children of same-sex couples. But Justice Alito also asked: “You want us to step in and render a decision based on an assessment of (gay marriage) which is newer than cellphones or the internet,” he said, openly wondering whether it is too soon to make marriage equality the law of the land.

Read more here: http://www.parentsociety.com/todays-family/same-sex-parents/why-we-should-all-care-about-prop-8/

Finding a Baby in a Subway, and Becoming Gay Parents

In the past few months, I followed the various ways lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer/questioning (LGBTQ) individuals and couples welcome children into their lives. While I became a dad when I was married to the mother of my children, others choose in vitro fertilization, adoption, foster parenting, or surrogacy. One thing that seems obvious is that for most LGBTQ people, having a baby is rarely an “oops” moment, a result of a night when birth control didn’t work, or when birth control measures simply weren’t in the cards.

Because many LGBTQ people who want a baby have to think carefully about why they want to a baby, the story of the couple who found their baby on the A/C/E subway exit on Eighth Ave in New York City, by luck, happenstance, or coincidence is incredible … and in the long run, magical. The story was initially run in the New York Times, written by Peter Mercurio, one of the dads. He and his husband Danny were recently married in July 2012, with their son Kevin (12 years old) in attendance.
Danny was the one who found the baby in the subway station, left on the ground in a corner by one of the turnstiles, wrapped in an oversize black sweatshirt. The baby was nicknamed “ACE” and was taken into custody by one of the family courts in NYC. Mercurio writes about this beautiful unexpected story: “Danny had not just saved an abandoned infant; he had found our son.”
The baby spent three months in the custody of the family court system, but no one claimed him as their own. At the day of the hearing about the baby’s future, the judge asked Danny, “Would you be interested in adopting this baby?” Danny’s response? “Yes.” Within a few weeks, slowly but surely, baby “ACE” became “Kevin.”

Read more here: http://www.parentsociety.com/todays-family/adoption-parenting/gay-couple-finds-baby-in-subway-and-gets-to-keep-him/

Why Kidnapping Children is Morally Wrong

My children went on an once-in-a-lifetime cruise to Alaska with their mom (my former wife) and her extended family. Because they were going into “international waters,” e.g., Canada and beyond, she needed a note from me, their dad, to say that the children were not being kidnapped or taken across into international waters without my knowledge and approval.
Such accommodation is part of the Parental Kidnapping Prevention Act, which makes clear that biological parents who have divorced each other and are in a custody battle cannot cross state lines or international lines to another jurisdiction with a child or children in order to get a more favorable court ruling.

The Case in Question
Recently, a Mennonite pastor Ken Miller was sentenced for helping an “ex-lesbian,” Lisa Miller, kidnap and flee with her young daughter to Nicaragua rather than share joint physical and legal custody with her former partner Janet Jenkins. What adds to this injurious situation is the approval of such actions by conservative Family Research Council senior fellow Peter Spriggs, who endorsed the actions of both the pastor and the “ex-lesbian,” because the partner is not a male but a female; a lesbian.
Even though Miller and Jenkins were in a legal civil union in Vermont, granting them both all the legal rights of a marriage, Spriggs argues that because Jenkins is not the biological mother she has no rights or responsibilities for the care of this child.

Read more here. http://www.parentsociety.com/todays-family/a-dads-perspective/ex-lesbian-kidnapping-chil/

Taxes and Death

My column from Q Notes:

“Things as certain as death and taxes, can be more firmly believed” wrote the 18th century writer Daniel Dafoe. This truthful statement comes to mind once a year like clockwork during February when I file my federal and state taxes. I file early because, as a father, I usually get a tax credit for my son. The rest of the taxes I file as a single man, though in reality I’m not a single man. I’m a divorced man. And, I’m a man with a partner of 17 years and counting. While we are not recognized as husband and husband or in a civil union in the eyes of the federal or state government, there was the feeling of permanence to the relationship when we bought our first house years ago. Because we’ve never lived in a state in which we could celebrate a civil union or domestic partnership, e.g., Oregon, or marry, e.g., Massachusetts, we’ve never had a ritualistic ceremony of union in which we exchanged rings; no jumping the broom; and no chuppah or canopy over us as one or both of us broke a glass in a dainty napkin. Instead, we bought a house and every year I am reminded that it is the one thing that we did to more-or-less “cement” our relationship in the eyes of the state and federal government. This is also especially true when I mark that I am the head of the household (I’m older, so there).
As I filed my taxes, this is the reality that I must tell you about: I am paying taxes to governments — federal and state — that treat my partner and me as second class citizens. I pay into a social security system in which I will not be able to inherit my partner’s share if he were to die first (unlike my mom who still gets my dad’s social security check). We do not get the option to file jointly as my brother and his wife do in their state and federal taxes, thus seeking any other tax credits. And, if he were to die first (God forbid), I would not directly inherit his share of the wealth we have accrued, but would have to pay a tax for it. I cannot check the box “married” on either tax form, but mark “single,” when I am anything but single, tethered as I am into so many relationships.
And, what don’t we get in return? We don’t get the right to marry. We don’t get the right to share medical or joint retirement benefits from our respective employer (we both work for the state of North Carolina as public employees).We don’t get to legally inherit each other’s earnings or belongings. We don’t get the right to make medical decisions at the hospital were one of us sick. We are figuratively and literally two individuals who are treated as roommates in the eyes of the federal government and the state of North Carolina. Nothing more and nothing less.
There is something within me that wants to pull a Henry David Thoreau and mount an act of civil disobedience. Maybe I should withhold my taxes until I can honestly report who and whose I am on my tax return. Maybe I should conduct a “sit in” at the N.C. Department of Revenue building as a protest, with a big sign simply saying “unfair!” by my Occupy Raleigh tent. Or, I could perhaps lead a pilgrimage of protest, gathering other LGBTQ people who are not able to honestly mark who they are on their tax returns from Chapel Hill and Durham to Raleigh. Count on this: when DOMA is over-turned, we will be ready to mark our tax returns just like my straight parents and straight brother and sister-in-law do every year until the next sure thing in life finally hits us both: death.

More here/link here: http://goqnotes.com/21504/taxes-and-death/

You Are Now Husband and Husband

From www.parentsociety.com:

As both an ordained Presbyterian pastor who has officiated numerous weddings, and a person who has attended many other weddings, I speak and listen carefully to the vows and phrases uttered, hoping that the married couple listen attentively to the promises they make on their wedding day. On the actual wedding day, a couple is usually oblivious to the promises made to one another before God and those assembled around them. That’s why video or aural recordings are helpful reminders for a couple to remember what they said at their wedding as they settle into their marriage.

In the wedding ceremony, after each person has shared their vows, there is a moment in which a couple is presented to all who are assembled. In a more traditional wedding, the minister may state the following: “By the authority vested in me by this State I now pronounce you man and wife (my emphasis) and what God hath joined together, let no man nor woman put asunder.”
“Man and wife” is a traditional statement, reflecting a more-or-less bygone era when a “wife” was seen as the object or property of the man, making her a second-class citizen.

Now in this contemporary age, the usual pronouncement is a bit more egalitarian, with “husband and wife” being presented to the couple, though the first named is most often a “husband” followed by “wife.” This designation is also reflected in marriage licenses that ask for the name of the “husband” and the name of the “wife,” though there are more LGBTQ people challenging these categories of being a couple, even in states where marriage equality is but a dream for the future.

Read more here: http://www.parentsociety.com/todays-family/same-sex-parents/i-now-pronounce-you-husband-and-husband/

Baby "Cured" of HIV/AIDS

From my column on www.parentsociety.com:

My daughter had a sore throat for over a week. A stuffy nose and an overall sense of lethargy preceded the sore throat. Her mom and I were quick to diagnose the problem and quickly began emailing her with details on what to take to get better as quickly as possible. It didn’t matter that my daughter is a 24-year-old young woman living over one hundred miles away. She’s my daughter. And I care for her, come rain or shine.

Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or straight parents share many things in common because we are parents first and foremost, and one of the strongest and overriding concerns of our lives is the physical health and emotional, intellectual, relational, and spiritual well-being of our children.
The End of AIDS?

The concern about the health and wholeness of one’s child was raised when we read the great news that an infant born with HIV/AIDS virus in Mississippi was functionally cured, according to Medical News Today. The baby was discovered to have HIV/AIDS virus, which was diagnosed soon after they discovered that the mom was HIV/AIDS positive, a diagnosis that was made during birth.

Read more: http://www.parentsociety.com/news-2/doctors-have-cured-a-baby-who-was-born-with-hivaids/

For the Love of Coy Mathis: Being a 6 Year Old Transgender Girl

 This essay was also published in my column on www.parentsociety.com

         When I go scuba diving—a new venture in my life—I’m always amazed at the incredible diversity of creation in the deep blue sea. Lobsters and other shellfish with wondrous colors and textures crawling and swimming on the ocean floor; moray eels sticking out their thick green bodies as they nibble on whatever goes by their rocky homes.  Fish of all shapes and sizes seem to change color instantly as they glide by my effortlessly.  On one of my first dives I was treated to an extraordinary opportunity of touching an octopus when it was placed on top of my hand. And as long as I kept moving my hand slightly the tentacles of the octopus would cling to my hand while its very body changed appearance when a stronger current jostled us both.  Cool!

            Coming up to dry land, I’ve been caught up in the equally fascinating diversity of creation around me. My memory of these undersea adventures was sparked as I read the story of six year-old Coy Mathis, a young first grader at Eagleside Elementary School in Colorado who was banned from using the girls’ restroom.  The reason for banning this little girl from going to the girls’ bathroom is because she was born with male genitals but behaves like a girl since she was eighteen months old. She’s always played with Barbie dolls while her same-aged brother played with dinosaurs. When she was four years old she was telling her mom that something was wrong with her body. She was diagnosed as “gender identity disorder.” But her doctors recommended not immediate medical intervention but suggested she just live life as a girl. She has always appeared as a little girl, with other students and teachers using the female pronoun to refer to her, and she used the girls’ bathroom. Before that, she used some of the school’s bathrooms that had no gender designation, but for those schools she visited that did, she used the girls’ bathroom.

            In December 2012, all that changed when the school district said that she could no longer use the girls’ bathroom. What is remarkable about this story is that there is no problem with Coy currently.  This restriction is because of what may happen with Coy in the future. To complicate things more, the Colorado Anti-Discrimination Act prohibits discrimination against transgender students of all ages in public schools.  Currently, Coy is simply being home schooled, though she misses her teachers and classmates.

            Amid the controversy, something exciting is going on in this world, in which this story is but one of many untold tales that is showing a shift in our national consciousness about the place and presence of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning people of all ages. How we are constructed anatomically is as natural in the absolute broadest sense of the word as everything else under the sun that is natural, including sexual identity and orientation. It is all made possible by the condition of simply being born on Mother Earth.  And to identify or change one’s sex from male to female, or female to male, is a result of many combined natural forces at work within us. And such a transformation is not up for discussion: just ask six year-old Coy, or all the other men and women who have transitioned throughout time. What is called for now is nothing less than this: love. The hope is that others in this story take the attitude that Coy’s mom and dad, siblings, classmates, and teachers have done: not seeing this as a tragedy, but an opportunity to love people as they are as we joyously open up our understanding of human diversity…and the marvelous multiplicity of ways of being on dry land or under the sea.

Go here for the article: http://www.parentsociety.com/news-2/6-year-old-transgender-girl-banned-from-girls-bathroom/

Exploding the Myth of the "Gay Agenda"...One more time

There has been much ado made in certain social circles about the “gay agenda.” The myth starts with lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (LGBTQ) people simply taking over the design of home décor and individual fashion choices, to our controlling the entire United States legislative process, making sure there are laws that ensure we live in a country with more rights than straight citizens. In reality, many LGBTQ people live out this agenda: it begins with waking up in the morning and making coffee, feeding children and dogs while waking up our partner. We either both go to work or one of us stays home and cares for the house. Each of us takes an hour off for lunch in which we take over the world and re-make it in our image. We then come back and sit at our work desks or continue to work around the house until it children come home or it is closing time.  We gather at home and feed children, dogs, and partner; after dinner we do homework with children, and then bathe them and read a story before they go to sleep. We fall down onto a couch and watch the nightly news with our partner who is reading emails before we fall asleep on the very same couch and finally shuffle off to bed, only to repeat the same routine in the morning.  So much for the “gay agenda” and the overthrow of the world!

There has been much flux among same-sex couples with children—as there is among straight couples—as we move from one end of a spectrum of being more-or-less equal partners in raising our children, to backsliding into more “traditional roles” than either set of partners-as-parents expected. Psychologists Philip and Carolyn Cowan discovered that in a straight couple relationship what I’ve discovered in same-sex partnered relationships: mothers resent not getting shared childcare she expected and envies her husband’s social networks outside the house. Husbands feel hurt that wives are not more thankful for the sacrifices they make by spending more hours at work so wives can stay home with the children.  The upshot? When straight couples can’t seem to figure out how to change and create new patterns of relating to one another and their child or children, a normal response is to create myths about why they made the choice of falling back into “traditional” 1950 model of home responsibility, why it is probably best for all, and why they are still equal in their heart or hearts, even if they do not share the kind of life they first envisioned as equal partners when they first said “I do” (Stephanie Coontz, “Why Gender Equality Stalled,” New York Times, 2/16/2013).

In my own relationship with my partner, he and I both have fallen into fairly 1950’s patterns of relating to one another, even though we are two men.  One of us makes more money than the other one, and one of us takes care of the home more than the other one, and both of us live with the similar resentments that the straight couple example above exemplified.  For example, the one who makes less money but takes care of the home (cooking, cleaning, and daily shopping), resents how much the other partner (who makes more money) has a more colorful life outside of the house. Meanwhile, the one who makes more money resents that the one who stays at home doesn’t show enough appreciation for the sacrifices he makes. This eerily sounds familiar with the 1950s husband-and-wife dynamic that straight couples slide back upon, even though in our relationship it involves two men.  In conversations with lesbian couples, the same 1950 pattern grips these couples as well. So what do we do? First, we realize that we’ve fallen backwards into a way of relating that fails to make either of us completely happy.  I’ll write more about the second step once we start living it out.

Posted on www.parentsociety.com: http://www.parentsociety.com/love/family-dynamic/gay-or-straight-couples-welcome-back-to-the-1950s/

There has been much ado in certain social circles about the “gay agenda.” The myth starts with lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (LGBTQ) people simply taking over the design of home décor and individual fashion choices, and goes to our controlling the entire United States’ legislative process, making sure there are laws that ensure we live in a country with more rights than straight citizens.

8 Healthy Lunchbox Ideas

In reality, many LGBTQ people live out this agenda: it begins with waking up in the morning and making coffee, feeding children and dogs while waking up our partner. We either both go to work or one of us stays home and cares for the house. Each of us takes an hour off for lunch in which we take over the world and re-make it in our image. We then come back and sit at our work desks or continue to work around the house until the children come home or it is closing time. We gather at home and feed children, dogs, and partner; after dinner, we do homework with children, and then bathe them and read a story before they go to sleep. We fall down onto a couch and watch the nightly news with our partner, who is reading emails, before we fall asleep on the very same couch and finally shuffle off to bed, only to repeat the same routine in the morning. So much for the “gay agenda” and the overthrow of the world!
There has been much flux among same-sex couples with children — as there is among straight couples — as we move from one end of a spectrum of being more-or-less equal partners in raising our children, to backsliding into more “traditional roles” than either set of partners-as-parents expected.
Psychologists Philip and Carolyn Cowan discovered in a straight-couple relationship what I’ve discovered in same-sex partnered relationships: mothers resent not getting the shared childcare she expected and envy their husbands’ social networks outside the house. Husbands feel hurt that wives are not more thankful for the sacrifices they make by spending more hours at work so wives can stay home with the children. 
The upshot? When straight couples can’t seem to figure out how to change and create new patterns of relating to one another and their child or children, a normal response is to create myths about why they made the choice of falling back into “traditional” 1950 model of home responsibility, why it is probably best for all, and why they are still equal in their heart or hearts, even if they do not share the kind of life they first envisioned as equal partners when they first said “I do.”
- See more at: http://www.parentsociety.com/love/family-dynamic/gay-or-straight-couples-welcome-back-to-the-1950s/#sthash.FGD6QXOD.dpuf

There has been much ado in certain social circles about the “gay agenda.” The myth starts with lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (LGBTQ) people simply taking over the design of home décor and individual fashion choices, and goes to our controlling the entire United States’ legislative process, making sure there are laws that ensure we live in a country with more rights than straight citizens.

8 Healthy Lunchbox Ideas

In reality, many LGBTQ people live out this agenda: it begins with waking up in the morning and making coffee, feeding children and dogs while waking up our partner. We either both go to work or one of us stays home and cares for the house. Each of us takes an hour off for lunch in which we take over the world and re-make it in our image. We then come back and sit at our work desks or continue to work around the house until the children come home or it is closing time. We gather at home and feed children, dogs, and partner; after dinner, we do homework with children, and then bathe them and read a story before they go to sleep. We fall down onto a couch and watch the nightly news with our partner, who is reading emails, before we fall asleep on the very same couch and finally shuffle off to bed, only to repeat the same routine in the morning. So much for the “gay agenda” and the overthrow of the world!
There has been much flux among same-sex couples with children — as there is among straight couples — as we move from one end of a spectrum of being more-or-less equal partners in raising our children, to backsliding into more “traditional roles” than either set of partners-as-parents expected.
Psychologists Philip and Carolyn Cowan discovered in a straight-couple relationship what I’ve discovered in same-sex partnered relationships: mothers resent not getting the shared childcare she expected and envy their husbands’ social networks outside the house. Husbands feel hurt that wives are not more thankful for the sacrifices they make by spending more hours at work so wives can stay home with the children. 
The upshot? When straight couples can’t seem to figure out how to change and create new patterns of relating to one another and their child or children, a normal response is to create myths about why they made the choice of falling back into “traditional” 1950 model of home responsibility, why it is probably best for all, and why they are still equal in their heart or hearts, even if they do not share the kind of life they first envisioned as equal partners when they first said “I do.”
- See more at: http://www.parentsociety.com/love/family-dynamic/gay-or-straight-couples-welcome-back-to-the-1950s/#sthash.FGD6QXOD.dpuf

There has been much ado in certain social circles about the “gay agenda.” The myth starts with lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (LGBTQ) people simply taking over the design of home décor and individual fashion choices, and goes to our controlling the entire United States’ legislative process, making sure there are laws that ensure we live in a country with more rights than straight citizens.

8 Healthy Lunchbox Ideas

In reality, many LGBTQ people live out this agenda: it begins with waking up in the morning and making coffee, feeding children and dogs while waking up our partner. We either both go to work or one of us stays home and cares for the house. Each of us takes an hour off for lunch in which we take over the world and re-make it in our image. We then come back and sit at our work desks or continue to work around the house until the children come home or it is closing time. We gather at home and feed children, dogs, and partner; after dinner, we do homework with children, and then bathe them and read a story before they go to sleep. We fall down onto a couch and watch the nightly news with our partner, who is reading emails, before we fall asleep on the very same couch and finally shuffle off to bed, only to repeat the same routine in the morning. So much for the “gay agenda” and the overthrow of the world!
There has been much flux among same-sex couples with children — as there is among straight couples — as we move from one end of a spectrum of being more-or-less equal partners in raising our children, to backsliding into more “traditional roles” than either set of partners-as-parents expected.
Psychologists Philip and Carolyn Cowan discovered in a straight-couple relationship what I’ve discovered in same-sex partnered relationships: mothers resent not getting the shared childcare she expected and envy their husbands’ social networks outside the house. Husbands feel hurt that wives are not more thankful for the sacrifices they make by spending more hours at work so wives can stay home with the children. 
The upshot? When straight couples can’t seem to figure out how to change and create new patterns of relating to one another and their child or children, a normal response is to create myths about why they made the choice of falling back into “traditional” 1950 model of home responsibility, why it is probably best for all, and why they are still equal in their heart or hearts, even if they do not share the kind of life they first envisioned as equal partners when they first said “I do.”
- See more at: http://www.parentsociety.com/love/family-dynamic/gay-or-straight-couples-welcome-back-to-the-1950s/#sthash.FGD6QXOD.dpuf

There has been much ado in certain social circles about the “gay agenda.” The myth starts with lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (LGBTQ) people simply taking over the design of home décor and individual fashion choices, and goes to our controlling the entire United States’ legislative process, making sure there are laws that ensure we live in a country with more rights than straight citizens.

8 Healthy Lunchbox Ideas

In reality, many LGBTQ people live out this agenda: it begins with waking up in the morning and making coffee, feeding children and dogs while waking up our partner. We either both go to work or one of us stays home and cares for the house. Each of us takes an hour off for lunch in which we take over the world and re-make it in our image. We then come back and sit at our work desks or continue to work around the house until the children come home or it is closing time. We gather at home and feed children, dogs, and partner; after dinner, we do homework with children, and then bathe them and read a story before they go to sleep. We fall down onto a couch and watch the nightly news with our partner, who is reading emails, before we fall asleep on the very same couch and finally shuffle off to bed, only to repeat the same routine in the morning. So much for the “gay agenda” and the overthrow of the world!
There has been much flux among same-sex couples with children — as there is among straight couples — as we move from one end of a spectrum of being more-or-less equal partners in raising our children, to backsliding into more “traditional roles” than either set of partners-as-parents expected.
Psychologists Philip and Carolyn Cowan discovered in a straight-couple relationship what I’ve discovered in same-sex partnered relationships: mothers resent not getting the shared childcare she expected and envy their husbands’ social networks outside the house. Husbands feel hurt that wives are not more thankful for the sacrifices they make by spending more hours at work so wives can stay home with the children. 
The upshot? When straight couples can’t seem to figure out how to change and create new patterns of relating to one another and their child or children, a normal response is to create myths about why they made the choice of falling back into “traditional” 1950 model of home responsibility, why it is probably best for all, and why they are still equal in their heart or hearts, even if they do not share the kind of life they first envisioned as equal partners when they first said “I do.”
- See more at: http://www.parentsociety.com/love/family-dynamic/gay-or-straight-couples-welcome-back-to-the-1950s/#sthash.FGD6QXOD.dpuf

There has been much ado in certain social circles about the “gay agenda.” The myth starts with lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (LGBTQ) people simply taking over the design of home décor and individual fashion choices, and goes to our controlling the entire United States’ legislative process, making sure there are laws that ensure we live in a country with more rights than straight citizens.

8 Healthy Lunchbox Ideas

In reality, many LGBTQ people live out this agenda: it begins with waking up in the morning and making coffee, feeding children and dogs while waking up our partner. We either both go to work or one of us stays home and cares for the house. Each of us takes an hour off for lunch in which we take over the world and re-make it in our image. We then come back and sit at our work desks or continue to work around the house until the children come home or it is closing time. We gather at home and feed children, dogs, and partner; after dinner, we do homework with children, and then bathe them and read a story before they go to sleep. We fall down onto a couch and watch the nightly news with our partner, who is reading emails, before we fall asleep on the very same couch and finally shuffle off to bed, only to repeat the same routine in the morning. So much for the “gay agenda” and the overthrow of the world!
There has been much flux among same-sex couples with children — as there is among straight couples — as we move from one end of a spectrum of being more-or-less equal partners in raising our children, to backsliding into more “traditional roles” than either set of partners-as-parents expected.
Psychologists Philip and Carolyn Cowan discovered in a straight-couple relationship what I’ve discovered in same-sex partnered relationships: mothers resent not getting the shared childcare she expected and envy their husbands’ social networks outside the house. Husbands feel hurt that wives are not more thankful for the sacrifices they make by spending more hours at work so wives can stay home with the children. 
The upshot? When straight couples can’t seem to figure out how to change and create new patterns of relating to one another and their child or children, a normal response is to create myths about why they made the choice of falling back into “traditional” 1950 model of home responsibility, why it is probably best for all, and why they are still equal in their heart or hearts, even if they do not share the kind of life they first envisioned as equal partners when they first said “I do.”
- See more at: http://www.parentsociety.com/love/family-dynamic/gay-or-straight-couples-welcome-back-to-the-1950s/#sthash.FGD6QXOD.dpuf

There has been much ado in certain social circles about the “gay agenda.” The myth starts with lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (LGBTQ) people simply taking over the design of home décor and individual fashion choices, and goes to our controlling the entire United States’ legislative process, making sure there are laws that ensure we live in a country with more rights than straight citizens.

8 Healthy Lunchbox Ideas

In reality, many LGBTQ people live out this agenda: it begins with waking up in the morning and making coffee, feeding children and dogs while waking up our partner. We either both go to work or one of us stays home and cares for the house. Each of us takes an hour off for lunch in which we take over the world and re-make it in our image. We then come back and sit at our work desks or continue to work around the house until the children come home or it is closing time. We gather at home and feed children, dogs, and partner; after dinner, we do homework with children, and then bathe them and read a story before they go to sleep. We fall down onto a couch and watch the nightly news with our partner, who is reading emails, before we fall asleep on the very same couch and finally shuffle off to bed, only to repeat the same routine in the morning. So much for the “gay agenda” and the overthrow of the world!
There has been much flux among same-sex couples with children — as there is among straight couples — as we move from one end of a spectrum of being more-or-less equal partners in raising our children, to backsliding into more “traditional roles” than either set of partners-as-parents expected.
Psychologists Philip and Carolyn Cowan discovered in a straight-couple relationship what I’ve discovered in same-sex partnered relationships: mothers resent not getting the shared childcare she expected and envy their husbands’ social networks outside the house. Husbands feel hurt that wives are not more thankful for the sacrifices they make by spending more hours at work so wives can stay home with the children. 
The upshot? When straight couples can’t seem to figure out how to change and create new patterns of relating to one another and their child or children, a normal response is to create myths about why they made the choice of falling back into “traditional” 1950 model of home responsibility, why it is probably best for all, and why they are still equal in their heart or hearts, even if they do not share the kind of life they first envisioned as equal partners when they first said “I do.”
- See more at: http://www.parentsociety.com/love/family-dynamic/gay-or-straight-couples-welcome-back-to-the-1950s/#sthash.FGD6QXOD.dpuf