Hope in Faiths

From my Q Notes column:

My “Religions and the World” class at North Carolina Central University (NCCU) — an historically black/college university (HBCU) — has drawn to another close at semester’s end. Like the previous semesters that I’ve taught the class, I am the richer in terms of life experiences and a deeper understanding of many of the world’s faiths and philosophies. Much of this learning does not take place solely through the book we read together as a class or through the various clips of music, rituals and prayers found on other computer links, generated in other parts of the world, those that assist in learning the key points of the religions of the world. What makes this class more than your average, normal, usual campus class is the field trips we make to the various temples, retreat centers, synagogues, churches and mosques in the area. It is the one-on-one meetings and discussions between the religious leaders and representatives of the major world faiths with the students that has made all the difference. For a few hours, the students immerse themselves into the ritual practices, prayers, language and music that may seem, at first, alien, but after a while it all grows upon one’s very being: heart, mind and body.
Unlike other years, this year I asked more the various religious leaders and faith representatives about the place and presence of LGBTQ people in their respective faith communities. I was greatly heartened by the response. At Sri Venkateswara Hindu Temple in Cary, N.C., one of the religious leaders said that there would never be an objection of an LGBTQ person coming to worship and pray to one of the gods. At the Zen Buddhist Retreat Center in Chapel Hill, N.C., LGBTQ people are welcome to come and contemplate and participate in the life of the community, with no sense of discrimination. At Beth El Synagogue in Durham, N.C., the religious educator for this Conservative Jewish community said there would be no objections to an LGBTQ person joining in and being a significant part of the community. One of the associate pastors of First Presbyterian Church, Durham, N.C., knows that many of the Presbyteries of the Presbyterian Church (USA) not only welcome LGBTQ people as members, but as ordained leaders. And the Imam of Duke University’s Muslim Life Center said that where he struggles most with Islam and the teaching of the Koran is in how women and LGBTQ people are perceived, acknowledging that this must change.
In other words, among all the world’s faiths, represented in the Research Triangle of North Carolina, there is a new great openness to LGBTQ individuals, couples, families and allies. While many of these religious communities and their respective leaders would have balked at welcoming LGBTQ people only a few years ago, a new breeze — or dare I call it Spirit — is blowing in the hearts, minds and bodies of these gatherings of the faithful. There is, indeed, hope in the faiths of the world. : :

Read more here: http://goqnotes.com/22926/hope-in-faiths/

My Homage to Jason Collins and Brittney Griner

From www.parentsociety.com:

When I was in my gay closet and on the cusp of leaving it, one of the things I did constantly was take a “temperature” of where my family, friends, neighborhood, larger community, the Church, and the state was in terms of accepting people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or questioning (LGBTQ). If I sensed people were “cold” towards gay people, I recalibrated what and when I would come out of the closet. In other words, I put it off, and slowly sank back into the shadowy corners of the closet.

Once I got a sense of the temperature warming up, and could sense that I would be welcomed as an out gay man, I then tried to do a kind of calculus in my head of what I would gain — and lose — in coming out of the closet. What I was doing the entire time was looking, listening, and trying to get a sense of what life would be like were I out of my closet.
As a young dad who was married and secretly gay, I surreptitiously read many books by out lesbian and gay writers, but many of them were just out of the closet or struggling with a lifelong illness or unrequited love. Movies and television shows were my other recourse, but in the 1970s and ’80s everyone in the movies who was gay was dying of HIV/AIDS or also just coming out. In music, I knew Leonard Bernstein and Elton John were gay … and I neither wanted to be Leonard or Elton. Professional athletes? Billy Jean King was kind of out but claimed to be bisexual, and Greg Louganis was not out. Indeed, the field of professional athletes was void of people I could relate to in my coming out journey.
In the last few days, weeks, months, and years, things have changed dramatically, and for the better, for LGBTQ people, especially those who are in the closet, be they same-sex couples or individuals of any age. Recently, NBA center Jason Collins of the Washington Wizards came out in Sports Illustrated, owning his story: “I’m a 34-year-old NBA center. I’m black. And I’m gay.”

Read more here: http://www.parentsociety.com/todays-family/same-sex-parents/my-homage-to-jason-collins-and-brittney-griner/

Race Matters in LGBTQ Issues

From www.parentsociety.com site:

Much of the civil rights movements of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer/questioning (LGBTQ) community has been led and funded by out, white, gay men. With the news surrounding the Supreme Court hearing of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) and Prop 8, there were many out, white, gay men who were front and center on television, radio, in the press, and blogging about it, myself included. When J.C. Penney and Amazon.com sell their clothes and Kindles, they are using more white gay parents and their children or couples as part of their advertisements on mainstream shows. I write out of a white, middle class, same-sex, out-gay, Christian-centered context.

During our LGBTQ Week festivities at North Carolina Central University (NCCU), the historically black college/university (HBCU) where I teach, there were two films that provided me with a chance to consider a context that has been foreign to me in the past, but is quickly becoming more normative the longer I teach there. The first film was a documentary movie, Friends of Essex, by Amir Dixon. The title was an homage to Essex Hemphill, a Chicago-born poet, and Marlon Riggs, a Texas-born poet and educator, both who wrote about the experiences of African-Americans who were out and gay. As part of the narrative thread of his film, Dixon chose several young, gay, black men, who talk about race, identity, masculinity, and sexuality.
The second film was a popular film that had been out in theaters nationwide: Pariah, the story of a high school senior in Brooklyn, NY who comes out to her friends and family. Pariah follows the young woman Alike’s life as she too struggles with her identity shaped by race, the feminine, and sexuality, risking friends, facing heartache, and coming out as a lesbian to her conservative African-American family. Alike’s salvation is found through writing and poetry, which illuminates her pathway out of her troubled life.

Read more here: http://www.parentsociety.com/todays-family/mixed-race-families/race-matters-even-in-lgbtq-families/

Moving Forward with Marriage Equality in US Senate

From www.parentsociety.com

In Sunday school and youth group gatherings, I delighted many children with the Peter Singer version of the Garden Song: “Inch by inch, row by row, gonna make this garden grow, gonna mulch it deep and low, gonna make it fertile ground.”

There were wonderful hand signs that went with the song, which also engaged the young children’s and adult’s bodies as well as minds and spirits. The entire song is about nurturing Mother Earth with steady, persistent efforts of care, concern, and love; taking out weeds and stones that impeded growth while making rows deep and planting seeds well-embedded into the ground, so that the rain and sun nurture the land. In turn, these seeds will grow into beautiful plants to feed people and bring beauty to the eye of the beholder.

I am reminded of this song as I watch the growing support for marriage equality among the members of the U.S. Senate on both sides of the political aisles.

With the hearing of the Prop 8 and DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act) before the Supreme Court of the U.S. in the past few weeks, there was an unexpected show of support from various members of the U.S. Senate. One by one, U.S. Senators started to express their support of marriage equality. About mid-week of the Supreme Court hearing, with the tie-breaking vote of Vice President Biden, there were over fifty Senators who expressed support for same-sex marriage. This initially included Republican Sen. Rob Portman of Ohio, and now Sen. Mark Kirk of Illinois.

Read more here: http://www.parentsociety.com/todays-family/same-sex-parents/report-a-majority-of-u-s-senators-support-marriage-equality/

The Rally for Marriage Equality in Raleigh: "I Once Was Lost"

From my speech in Raleigh for Marriage Equality on March 26, 2013:

[Ed. Note: The following was delivered at an Equality North Carolina sponsored marriage equality vigil in Raleigh, N.C., on March 26.]
In my time as a Presbyterian pastor, I’ve been to my share of tent revivals and homecoming gatherings. This evening’s rally for marriage equality is the homecoming I hoped to find one day. And at those homecomings, one of the popular hymns we would sing is, “Amazing Grace.” It was the first lines of the first verse that captured parts of my life narrative well: “Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now am found…” There it is: “I once was lost.” Raised by my parents to be the best little boy in the world in the American middle-class dream, groomed by evangelical leaders of Young Life, InterVarsity and my local Presbyterian Church to be a minister, I did what was expected of me: I once was a married man, who was fortunate to marry his best friend from high school when we were both in college. Aware that I was gay early on in life, I also learned quickly that being gay was a “sin.” I was soon lost in my carefully constructed gay closet, with rough wooden planks of hate, screws and nails of fear and clothes of self-loathing suffocating me in my shadow life.
Burying myself in the work of academe and ministry, adding on top of it the joys of being a full-time dad, I pushed aside who I really was created to be, not believing that I was created to be a man born to be in a significant relationship with a man. However, because of my devotion to reading the Psalms, there was a verse from Psalm 139 that was like a song worm, burrowing into my consciousness: “I, God, knit you in your mother’s womb…wonderful are my works, wonderfully are you made.” These words broke down the façade of the gay closet as I slowly accepted the man I was created to be. Those words were transformed into a beacon of light that helped lead me on my pilgrimage of coming out of a 21-year marriage and embracing all of who I am.
“But now I’m found.” I found my footing and now am working with others to have the choice to marry, a choice I once had when I was in the closet for 30 years. Today, I want what I had when I was in the closet and claimed to be straight. For 17 years (and counting), I’ve been in a significant partnership with my partner, Dean Blackburn. Like a straight couple, we were drawn to each other emotionally, relationally, intellectually, physically and spiritually. In other words, our attraction to one another is similar to that of straight couples. We’re similar to Ben Affleck at the recent Oscar awards who said to his wife Jennifer Gardner: “I want to thank you for working on our marriage for 10 Christmases. It’s good, it is work, but it’s the best kind of work and there’s no one I’d rather work with.” Like Affleck and Gardner, for 17 Christmases, Dean and I have worked and celebrated our union too. What we’re not able to do is celebrate our union as a marriage in North Carolina. This is where the work comes in: working at an historically black college/university (HBCU) of North Carolina Central University (NCCU), I understand what our forebearers of the Civil Rights movement fought for in terms of the civil right to marry the one we love, regardless of one’s skin color.
In 1967, the Supreme Court of the U.S., in Loving v. Virginia, gave interracial couples the right to marry, regardless of one’s racial or ethnic background. It is now our turn, as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer/questioning Americans, to also embrace our civil and constitutional right as American citizens, in which these words are true for us as well: All of us are created equal, that we are endowed, by our Creator, with certain unalienable rights…life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I was asked today by some of my NCCU students why I stay in the march for freedom? I stay because my African-American forebearers and women who fight for equal rights today, remind me this is a marathon, not a sprint. What pulls me forward is found in the third verse of “Amazing Grace”: “Through many dangers, toils and snares we have already come; ‘Tis Grace that brought us safe thus far and grace will lead us home.”
Friends, let us embrace the freedom to create homes of trust, of commitment to one another and, most importantly, for our children and us: homes of love. Thank you and God bless. : :

I'm a Teacher...and I'm Gay

From my blog on www.parentsociety.com

I’m a teacher. That is my role and function in life. I have taught young children in music classes; worked as a music therapist with older children who live with emotional, behavioral, and intellectual disabilities. I teach undergraduate college students today, and have taught graduate students in the past at small and large colleges and universities. Today, I teach “Ethics, Religions, and the World” and English composition courses full-time at North Carolina Central University in Durham, NC, a historical black college/university (HBCU).

In total, I’ve taught in higher education for over sixteen years. My reviews from teaching tend to be “high” in terms of overall teaching effectiveness, whether I was teaching young children in music therapy sessions or doctoral students at a major research university. Why the high ratings? Because I use my life story as a resource of how to do things in life — or not do certain things. I use stories of my life-partner, my children, my parents, and other experiences that I’ve garnered over time and place. Like all good educators, I know that teaching works best when we develop a relationship with others, and tell and live our stories.
Recently, one student at the HBCU where I teach asked me what it was like to be a minority, “you know, white, a dad, partnered, gay, and a Presbyterian pastor.” I simply laughed and said that my minority status where I work gave me a slight insight into how my students feel daily in the primarily white world in which we live. I know as a fact that some out and closeted lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning students take my class because I am an out-gay teacher. They’ve said that knowing this makes them feel safe in the classroom to be themselves.

Read more here: http://www.parentsociety.com/todays-family/same-sex-parents/im-a-teacher-and-im-gay/

DOMA Before the Supreme Court of the US

From parentsociety.com:
The Basics
On Wednesday, March 27, 2013, the Supreme Court of the U.S. heard the case against the federal government’s 1996 Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). Besides stating that marriage is between one man and one woman, section 3 of the federal DOMA restricts federal marriage benefits and required interstate marriage recognition to only opposite-sex marriages in the United States.

Section 3 does not recognize same-sex marriage for all federal purposes, like insurance benefits for federal government employees (including military service personnel),  Social Security survivors’ benefits, immigration (including bi-national same-sex couples), and filing joint tax returns. Eight lower district courses, along with the Obama Administration, have found Section 3 unconstitutional based upon the equal protection clause.  In other words, same-sex couples are not considered “equal to” opposite-sex couples.
DOMA vs. Prop 8
It is very rare that the Supreme Court would hold back-to-back hearings on a similar issue regarding marriage equality. However, Prop 8 was more about the rights of voters to take away the rights of a minority group in California, while DOMA hearing was about inequality found within a federal law.
Highlights From the Hearing
Some of the highlights from the hearing exposed how those of us who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer (LGBTQ) were considered in 1996. The highlights also show what was troubling for some justices in terms of equality of same-sex couples with straight couples, and in terms of our families’ overall well-being.
For example:

• Reading from the legislative history of the U.S. House of Representatives, Justice Kagan read the following regarding DOMA: “Congress decided to reflect an honor of collective moral judgment and to express moral disapproval of homosexuality.”

Read more here: http://www.parentsociety.com/todays-family/same-sex-parents/all-you-need-to-know-about-the-defense-of-marriage-act-doma-hearing-before-the-supreme-court/