"My marriage wasn't doing well," he said. "We were a good face for the people, but we weren't having a good marriage. What I was doing to my daughter and the damage I was doing to her mother led me to the point where I felt I needed to divorce."
During his divorce, Reynolds enrolled at the Iliff School of Theology in Denver where for the first time he found language that gave him faith he could be both gay and a Christian minister. At the same time, he had become the primary care giver to his gay younger brother, who died two years later from complications with HIV.
"Through that journey," he said, "one of the freeing things my brother gave me was that I should live my life as who I am. His freedom in life and death enabled me to come to some rationale about that."
While at Iliff, Reynolds discovered how resistant his church was to having a gay man be a minister of the gospel. On the night he came out, one of the deacons approached him and said, "Everyone in this church knows that you are gay, but I'm mad as hell that you told us."
What is interesting is that the Church where he interim pastor--Pilgrim Church (UCC)--is also experiencing new growth, as is Reynolds.
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Intersecting identities is very important: one is more than being "gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, or queer expressing." We are male or female, rich, poor, young, old, black, white, etc. And all these cultural contexts shape and change us. And we change these contexts as we tell and live our story.
Live the story. Tell the story.
Pace! B
The author of the essay, Col. Om Prakash, effectively demolishes the primary, wrongheaded rationale for the law: that unit cohesion would be harmed if homosexuals served openly. Several other countries, including Australia, Canada, Israel and Britain, have lifted bans on homosexuals serving openly with no adverse effects on military performance or readiness.
Colonel Prakash argues that the law has undermined unit cohesion, in part by compromising the integrity of homosexuals who have to dissemble and by posing a moral quandary for commanders — look the other way or risk discharging a valuable service member. He judged the policy a “costly failure” because of the lost manpower and the administrative costs of recruiting and separating homosexuals. He urged the Obama administration to examine how to repeal the ban.
We agree strongly with Colonel Prakash, and urge the Pentagon to press ahead with changes in its regulations to make implementing the “don’t ask” law more humane. Ultimately, Congress must repeal the 1993 statute. We are not confident that the Senate has enough enlightened members to overcome a filibuster. But if the military can show an open mind, surely lawmakers can summon the courage to end this sad chapter in history.
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BTW: Don't Ask Don't Tell doesn't work among clergypersons, lay leaders, religious leaders, etc., because it simply reinforces people lying and failing to live life as God intended: in the freedom of being who we were created to be as men and women.
Pace!
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