Saturday, October 25, 2014

Weddings in October 2014

I've had the "honor" of being an officiant for two weddings in the month of October. The first wedding--a highlight of life--was marrying Adrianne and Scott in Massachusetts. The weather was great: it began rainy but at 2:00 the sun started to come out, and by 3:30, the time for the wedding to begin, it was dry and sunny. The father of the bride--moi--did not keep a dry eye as this lovely woman walked down the aisle with Dean and Pam--partner and mom--walking beside her.

The other wedding was yesterday: Janet and Fantasie! They got my name from a former student of mine from the days at Duke Divinity School who works at First Presbyterian Church, Durham. Outside of the Durham County Courthouse (the old one), we signed the papers and I officiated their covenant, with their children from previous relationships in tow.  It was my first legal same sex marriage.

It makes a difference!  While I have conducted over 100 weddings as a Minister, I grew resentful after I came out of the closet, realizing I could no longer wed, and I bestowing 1,300 laws upon this couple I could not enjoy as a gay man with my partner.

NC's laws finally changed, thanks to the Fourth Circuit Court.

A new day in NC!

Now, let's see who else I know who could get married...hmmmm....oh! ME!



Wednesday, October 8, 2014

NC: Ding D...

Ding, do...

We are waiting for the other shoe to drop in NC as Judge Osteen wants Chris Brook of the NC ACLU to ask the court to more or less file a motion to rule that Amendment 1 is unconstitutional, which has an impact upon the clients/LGBTQ couples of the ACLU who want the right to marry.

We await.

Church bells about to ch...



Update: the state of NC went "ding dong" for marriage equality on 10-10-14! It was a happy day!


Our Noble Child, Toby

This column is about our dog Toby, our noble child!


An observation: if one person in a marriage or significant partnership dies, sometimes the other spouse or partner soon dies of loneliness within months of the other’s death.
I knew this was true for humans, but I did not expect it to be the same with our dogs.
Sadly, our chocolate Labrador retriever, Toby, died within six months of our yellow Labrador retriever Lil’s death.
Both were adopted at separate times from the Orange County Animal Shelter. Within weeks of living in our house they soon became the latest version of television’s “I Love Lucy” with our dogs becoming Lucy and Ricky, opposites, yet companionable in every way.
While Lil grew into an adult dog, queen of her realm (our house), Toby never grew out of his Labrador adolescence. He became what one friend called our noble child. With boundless energy up to the last few days of his doggy life, Toby ran after his favorite toy with great energy, rarely showing exhaustion, tail wagging happily, while Lil was bemused by his antics and would occasionally grab a large branch and play keep away.
Toby and Lil came into our lives when my partner and I were raising my children from a previous marriage. To my now adult-aged children, the dogs were their link to childhood.
While Lil was the dog a child tells secrets to, Toby was the dog a child went to for a good game of hide-and-go-seek, fetch, and wrestled with on the floor or couch, with licks and paws stretched out, wanting to play some more.

Here's more:



Tuesday, October 7, 2014

The Agony of Defeat and the Thrill of Victory

When I grew up, on ABC Sports, there was a mantra on ABC Sports re: what each athlete or group of athletes faced: the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat.

I often felt the same re: the marriage equality in NC: the agony of defeat was palpable after the loss on the Amendment 1 movement.

Today, NC (as part of the Fourth Circuit Court region) is on the edge of watching the Amendment 1 come to a crashing defeat, being stripped out of the NC Constitution, much like the anti-interracial marriage amendment was tossed out by the US Supreme Court.  There is a sense of electricity among Facebook and twitter friends and associates as people in VA, CO, UT, and now NV and ID are getting "gay married." I am smiling broadly outside and in.  I cannot believe the roll out of history in my life time.

Will Dean and I get married? Stay tuned!  Will it be in NC? OR? HI? Stay tuned.

But this I know: soon over 30 states will approve of marriage equality with the great majority of this country's population living in those state.

Civilization? Is that you knocking on the door of NC?  Well...